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Columnists

Surfers' paradise

Dixe Wills

dixe.jpg

A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, which stripped him of his raiment, and wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. And by chance there came down a certain man that way: and when he saw him, he lifted up his phone, and did take a photograph of him, saying, 'I shall create a Facebook page called Men Who Clog Up The Main Road From Jerusalem to Jericho and upload this photograph there and perhaps do something with it on Pinterest as well if I've got time after dinner.'

And likewise a woman, when she was at the same place, passed by on the other side without noticing the man for she was scrolling through this amazing new Facebook page called Men Who Clog Up The Main Road From Jerusalem to Jericho and she did like it so she did 'Like' it, for sometimes there were such men who clogged up the main road from Jerusalem to Jericho and indeed other less major thoroughfares such as the road from Bethel to Shechem which she had to travel when visiting her parents and she wondered whether there was not space for a spin-off page called Men Who Clog Up The Main Road From Bethel to Shechem Which Is Even More Annoying In A Way Because It's A Lot Narrower, and she thought that perhaps there might be, for these people should be shamed or they would never learn.

But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed along the road, came to where he was: and when he saw him, he had compassion on him and went to him and bent down to make sure it really was him and then spake unto him saying, 'You're the original man from Men Who Clog Up The Main Road From Jerusalem to Jericho! You're famous, man!' And he called over to his friends, saying, 'It's the dude from J2J,' - for verily the page had already gone sufficiently viral to have acquired an acronym - 'you know, the guy without the raiment.' And they did reply unto him, saying, 'Yeah, right.' But they did cross the road themselves and went to the man and bent down and they were sore surprised for it was indeed the original man from J2J though his face was now a lot bloodier than in the photograph and his skin had gone all blue for it was a mite chilly lying on the road without a raiment and they said to one another, 'We must do something about this.'

And so it came to pass that the three Samaritans did indeed do something about it. They wiped some of the dried blood from the man's face. And they did put their arms around his weakened shoulders and gently lifted his head to catch the sun. And when they had done this they did take a selfie with him. And then they laid him back down on the ground and went on their way for, sadly, Samaritans are not always the good guys. And, not for the first time, Jesus wept.