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So they say

There's a selfishness in relationship love, because you're getting something in return. If you really wanted your partner to be as happy as possible, if you really loved them, I think most of us would say: 'You should go out with someone better than me because I'm really not that great'.
The comedian Richard Herring

We're Christians. Christ unites us.
The president of Venezuela Hugo Chavez, to people who had shaved their heads in sympathy with his own chemotherapy-induced hair loss.

Jesus Christ, what have we done?
Derek Fiddaman, 74, a naval rating on the guardship for the first megaton bomb. 'We were all on the far side of the ship. We sat down and covered our eyes. There was an explosion and we turned round and looked at it...'

Jesus' message was usually one of forgiveness and kindness. These are wonderful virtues but I have seen them discarded by many so-called God-fearers when it suits them.
The comedian Ricky Gervais.